There comes a time when hatred and bitterness engulf you and you feel like sinking into an abyss. There comes a time when you want to scream so loud that people around you may go deaf. It is a time when it feels that every other sound in the universe should cease and only your anguish and anger will keep on echoing. This is such a day; this is such a moment. I want to run away, but right now either I don’t have a destination in mind or whatever places I have in mind are beyond my budget. Sometimes I just want to go into an eternal sleep. I don’t want to wake up ever. There are certain faces that I right now do not wish to see, and, on the other hand, there are certain others whose faces I am dying to see. I am feeling really empty, and the people around me are making the mess even more intolerable. They have chosen this very day to be obnoxious towards me. I feel so fucking betrayed. Why don’t they shoot me instead? That will be better. One shot in the middle of the forehead…

I wanted to book a hotel room. I wanted to shut myself up inside an Air-Conditioned room and forget the world outside, even if for a day. I want to go somewhere-a place far from this mad city and its daily drudgery. People are thankless assholes. But then…sooner or later I have to come back into this same madness and to the same milieu. Have to come back to earn money, because I don’t have enough of it; I don’t know if I will have enough of it ever. I don’t know if I will ever reach the position when I will not have to think of the balance while spending. I am disgusted by myself that I ponder about people who are not even thinking of me, who live in their own sweet world…Image

All this forces me to scream and shout like crazy. May be I am crazy, at least half crazy. May be it is the heat. But which heat is it? There is a heat in my heart and there is the scorching summer heat outside. The heat in my heart is that of dissatisfied and disillusioned person. I want to start from the beginning. But I know in life there are no second takes! I know no matter how much I scream nothing will change. I know that soon my voice will cease and what will be left are the ashes of a burnt heart- a heart which has no more feelings in it.


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